Local

The antagonist of many a coffee runs, an inconveniently placed rock is being hailed as a hero today after successfully defeating the Chinese government.

Love it or hate it, it has become abundantly clear that the rock affectionately dubbed "City Brew Rock" by Billings locals is here to stay. The rock, while not of the professional wrestling variety, has seen its fair share of tap-outs since the opening of City Brew's Shiloh Crossing location over ten years ago.

The balloon, confirmed by the Department of Defense as a Chinese surveillance aircraft and definitely not a second moon, was first spotted over Laurel last Wednesday. U.S. officials, showing unusual concern for civilian safety, remained hesitant this week in taking action against the craft. When asked for comment on the possibility of shooting it down the Department of Defense had this to say: "Like- right now? In the middle of Solitaire? Uh- Rest assured, we are exploring other options."

Thankfully for Billings residents "other options" came days later in the form of a large vigilante boulder the size of a small boulder. The spy balloon was reported to have taken a sharp right entering the City Brew parking lot, suddenly emitting a sound of what one witness could only describe as "The Titanic ripping in half" and coming to a halt on top of the ill placed rock. A first for Billings towing companies.